[Editor's Note]: Frank considers himself a savant at nothing in particular, "Like Enoch, I wear my cape...(Dr.Octagon)" Maybe a misguided Daniel Waterhouse wannabe, but not certainly. The journal was flashed onto a TI-994A phone emulator cartridge, and took several hours to retrieve. As usual, any names may have been changed to protect local identities.
October 27, 2010
San Antonio, Tejas
In addition to the airline and parking BSs, i have observed and experienced several more failed customer service interactions and captured them for the page. Due to my recent epiphany and subsequent application of the 'small town pace,' toward all aspects of daily life, i have time for greater reflection on events occurring in the present; no more racing the Clock and forcing things.
With the inception of this blog, it became necessary to acquire a droid. Until recently, my trusty moto razr did the job unflinchingly. A few clicks led me to the "shopping" page at the Big One, and a few more found a re-up deal worthy of consumption. Error, we suck. Duh.
Now attempting voice contact, i was pleasantly surprised to hear a velvety southern twang greet me with a smile. Some minor investigation revealed the Big One's website down, no online orders. Our carefree chat led to a special promo, no activation fees and bonus rebate.. "Virginia," you are as an angel--suddenly, a smooth talking manager interrupted us and declared the deal to be expired, but due to my longevity, i was a valued customer. I was led to believe that a customer Service rep would call in the morning to finalize the deal.
18 hours later, i called them after attempting to find /index_of_promo*, and made another attempt to vocally order the deal, and was shot down by teller#1. Next up the ladder says deal doesn't exist, and i finally get to talk to a "customer Service manager."
After only negotiating free shipping, i tucked my tail and ran with it. The cSm knew it had four aces: the Big One holds the very best network in the country (and most of the world). 200 years of counter-anti-trust-legislation creates a giant, evil twin fetus growing from a tumor.
A special shout out to the hopelessly inept species of human that staffs the local Wal Marts, "WTF, Over?"
Homo Depot staff really dropped the ball when i asked a simple question about Faraday flashlights (way to know nothing about the products you try to sell me!); and the tweaker at the returns desk couldn't figure out that a dual-socket Y breaks sometimes and you have to bring it back and exchange it for another. I ended up paying for the old one and the new one just to have mercy.
By far the best experience was the local "Halloween store." A rushed first trip made for a quicker return trip (traffic starting to ooze along already) and all the registers were open and with the exhange i was in and out in 7 minutes. Nice.
The rest of you bastards take note: I will Not Stand for this impertinence and lack of attention. Maybe i need to text you my request for better Service. Suck It.
About to Drop Out of the Grid,
Francois (Frank) Dillinger
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